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Self-Control is a fruit of the Spirit

Self-Control is a fruit of the Spirit

Yes, we know that fornication is wrong. We know that sex before marriage is a sin and against God. But how can you help me? It’s not enough saying that which is wrong when you haven’t told me how to make things right and deal with it.

It is very easy to get attached to someone. Spend enough time with them, enjoy their company and join in communication long enough that he knows everything about you; you will begin to ‘fall in love’. 

The nature of loneliness will make it easier for attachment, even to someone who clearly shows signs that they’re not the one.

It will cause you to disregard, at that brief moment of pleasure, your beliefs and forget who you are. As you engage in sexual relations with this person, even though you know it is wrong, you open the door to a deeper feeling. A sense of connection and fixation. Something, for the safety and purity of it, should only be for a marriage; between a husband and wife. Yet still, as he touches you and you start to feel a warm hormonal sensation that, in the heat of the moment, you think it’s love. It’s not.

It’s lust.

The line between love and lust is very thin.

With love, everything is and feels right. With love, there’s no doubts.

Lust causes doubts, insecurities, disappointments, cravings and desire for that which is wrong and deteriorating towards and for the temple of God, which is your body.

However, the beauty of wrongs is that they can be made right. Wrongs have an opposite. And therefore, the opposite of lust is not only love. To subdue lust is to develop self-control.

Proverbs 25:28 tells us that “A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls” (NLT)

It is crucial to have self-control, because to give into temptation is easy. But to deal with the consequences afterwards is harder than the quick flash of satisfaction.

With the gift of self-control you will be able to overcome and control lust. You will escape temptation and be triumphant. Gaining one more victory and means for a testimony.

In this world, we will have trouble as Jesus explains to us in John 16:33. We are only human, but we are loved beyond measure and so God encourages us how to conquer temptation:

  • Matthew 26:41 Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
  • 1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
  • James 4:7-10 So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it’s the only way you’ll get on your feet.

Lust leads to sexual immorality; this comes in many shapes, sizes and forms.

1 Corinthians 7:1-2 Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations. But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

One of the earlier bible verses says the “spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak”.

So the burdens of the flesh are:

  • Weak
  • Satisfaction
  • Sensory controlled (feelings, touch, taste, hear)
  • Sinful
  • Lust
  • Doubt
  • Impure

But, in Galatians 5:22-23, the fruits of the spirit are:

  • Love
  • Joy
  • Peace
  • Faith
  • Hope
  • Patience
  • Kindness
  • Goodness
  • Self-Control

1 Corinthians 7: 9 “but if [you] can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust (NLT)

This does not mean to find anybody to marry. For we know God doesn’t believe in that. Love has to be key because we know “love is the greatest of all things”. Don’t rush into anything but wait on the Lord to send your Adam. “He who finds a wife finds a finds a treasure and receives favor from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22). So let God find you someone, not the other way round. Be patient.

Yet in this time of solitude, blessed quietness and lonely patience; it is the hardest to endure single when all you desire is to feel comfort.

But be of good cheer!

It is in this time that you can get closer to God, know more about Him and what He thinks of you and also, you can find more about yourself. But you have to put boundaries in place; recognise, understand and identify your weaknesses. In this way, you’ll enhance the crucial part of the Spirit: Self-Control.

Written by: Apphia Patten

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Hello I'm Apphia Patten. I am 21 years old and currently live in London. I have recently finished university. I enjoy and love writing in my spare time! I am passionate about encouraging others through what I gone through and have overcome by the grace of God. I enjoy writing articles that inspire, encourage and help readers like you Arise Single Christian Mummies. I also have my own personal website with other inspirational material. You can connect with me on Twitter, Instagram @OnliFia and Facebook: Apphia Patten. Thank you for reading my articles and hope to see you again. x



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