How to Beat Loneliness as a New Mum
Raise your hands if loneliness makes you feel fed up. On top of that, no one understand how you feel. They think because you have a baby you shouldn’t feel lonely.
Your friends have deserted you because you’re a mum. Your lifestyle is different to theirs. You don’t have much in common with them anymore. When they visit, you’re knee-deep in nappies, feeding or calming your crying baby.
You can’t go out shopping or meet up with them like you used to. Your life revolves around your new baby. You feel isolated. No one understands what you’re going through. Even when you’re with your family, you feel lonely.
They’re free. They can do what they want, when they want.
But did you know there’s one person who can help you deal with loneliness? His name is God. Turn to Him when you feel lonely. He’ll comfort you. He said He will never leave or forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31:6).
Although it may seem like He’s deserted you, He hasn’t. Speak to Him. Tell Him how you feel. You don’t have to get on your knees and clasp your hands. Talk to Him like you’re talking to a friend. He’ll be your friend, if that’s what you want.
He’ll never force Himself on you. But He’s there when you need Him.
Another thing you can do is think positive thoughts. Remember happy memories from your past.
Praise and worship God when lonely feelings overwhelm you. Loneliness is only a feeling.
I know it’s not easy to praise when you feel low. But it’s one of the best things you can do. Praise will uplift your mood and change negative feelings.
There are also some practical things you can do to beat loneliness. I’ve listed them below:
- Join mother and baby groups in your local area. They have lots of activities for you and your baby, including days out. It’s a great way to socialise and meet other mums. Plus, your baby will meet other babies and develop new skills as they interact and play.
- Make new friends in church. Talk to other people. If there are other people close to your age, get to know them. Arrange to go out together for a coffee or something else you both enjoy.
- Join Netmums, meet other mums and start new relationships. You’ll find a whole range of activities on their website. There’s also meet-up groups for local mums to get together and soft-play centres.
- Volunteer and enrich someone else’s life. It will take the focus off yourself. Organisations such as Circles Network support people in need.There’s a choice of admin or maintenance work. You’ll be doing a good cause by helping disadvantaged children or adults. I bet you’ll feel better when you give to a worthy cause. Volunteering is also a great way to learn new skills and meet other people.
- Start or join a Bible study or fellowship group with other mums. Meet for an hour to share bible verses over tea, coffee and cakes or biscuits. If the other mums have toddlers, create a play area for them to have some fun while you fellowship together. You could also take turns and meet at each other’s house.
- Go for a walk to the park with your baby. Walking is therapeutic. It’s a good form of exercise and you might meet other mums out walking as well. If it’s cold, wrap up yourself and your baby. You don’t have to sit in the park for long. Walking around will help clear your head. By the time you come back home, you’ll feel refreshed.
Last, but certainly not least, take action. Try some of the tips. You’ll take control of loneliness rather than it taking control of you. And do you know what the best part is? You’ll meet new friends who you’ll have lots in common with.
Have you suffered from loneliness? How did you deal with it? Share your thoughts in the comments box below.