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Posted by in Love and Sex, Relationships, Single & Blessed | 0 comments

3 Dating Rules NOT to Break

3 Dating Rules NOT to Break

 

Okay, let’s talk about dating rules. They’re there for a reason. You either abide by them or break them. Which will you choose?

You can break them, mess up and do something you’ll regret. Or agree with them and have fun dating.

Let’s start by looking at the dating rules with an open mind. When you’re dating, use wisdom. Pray. Pray. And pray some more. Why? So you don’t let your guard down. And also, go by the guidelines of the bible to help you not make the wrong choices or decisions.

 

  1. Don’t date randomly

Random dating is dating different men searching for the right one. You jump from one man to another just for the sake of dating. When you start dating, have the end goal in mind. The end goal should be going on dates with the intention of getting married. So, date a person who shares your beliefs and fits what you’re looking for in a husband.

This doesn’t mean you should only date one man. You might have to date more than one man. Unless you meet someone and know from the start he is the one you’re going to marry.

Just to let you know, there’s a difference between going on a date and dating. Going on a date is meeting up for dinner, coffee, a trip to the cinema, museum or somewhere else. Whereas, dating is a little more intimate. This is where you share personal  information (not your life story) about yourself. You both discuss your desires for the future and get to know each other better.

However, it’s not advisable to go dating lots of different men while searching for your king. Dating usually lead to starting a serious relationship. And you don’t want to have lots of unnecessary relationships before you marry. For more about whether you’re ready for a relationship or not, read this article: Are you Ready for a Relationship?

 

  1. Don’t give up sex because he says I love you

Perhaps you’ve been single for a long time. Then you meet a man and start a relationship. He seems like the right fit for a husband. He tells you he’s deeply in love with you. As the weeks and months move along your feelings grow stronger. You believe you’re in love with him.

In due course, when you’re alone, the cuddles become intense. His hands roam all over your body. His kisses turn into more than a peck on the cheek. This is where fire can start in your relationship. He tells you how much he adores you. He might even claim that he’s 100% sure you’re meant to be his wife. Then he tries to entice you into bed.

On top of that, he puts demands on his request. “If you love me too, you would do it. At the end of the day, you’re my woman. That’s what couples in love do, isn’t it? And if we don’t try it out, how will we know if we’re sexually compatible after we get married? Or, why are you making me suffer?”

What will you do? Will you feel guilty about holding back or give in to his sexual demands? If you give in, you’re giving away a precious piece of you. On top of that, how do you know he’s going to stay with you after he’s tasted the honey? Maybe that’s all he wanted to satisfy his sexual cravings.

Anyway, if he truly loves you he will wait. If you’re prepared to wait, why can’t he? Save yourself for your honeymoon night. It will be worth the wait. Don’t be pressurised by his emotional blackmail to tempt you into bed.

I know it’s not easy. You’re created with sexual desires. However, you must do all you can, to control lust. (1 Corinthians 6:13). Or it will lead you down a slippery slope into sin. For the sake of your emotional stability, spiritual and physical health it’s worth saying NO.

 

  1. Don’t compromise your values

You shouldn’t measure your values against the standards of the world on your date. That’s why you must abide by dating rules or you’ll risk doing the same things your non-Christian girlfriends do. Also, remember, you’re meant to be the light in this dark world. (Matthew 5:14-16).

The world’s standards say you’re allowed to do this on your date night:

  • Wear a short, low-cut, tight dress that clings to your curves. Strut in high heels to make him think you look sexy.
  • It’s okay to take him back to your flat on the first date and have a long smooching session on your sofa. Depending on how you feel, perhaps you’ll let him have his way.
  • Drink a lot of alcohol. There’s nothing wrong with letting your hair down.
  • Let him fondle you because you like him. Brag about how he was all over you because he found you irresistible.

So, after that date night, how will you feel when you wake up the next morning? Will you feel good about yourself? What if he doesn’t call you again? You’ll probably regret what you allowed him to do.

However, the damage would have been done because you compromised your values. In addition, lowered your standards trying to please him. But, he will probably see you as easy like many of the others out there. Therefore, his respect for you would have taken a tumble.

Let’s look at the definition of values as a noun: “The regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.”

And values as a verb: “Consider (someone or something) to be important or beneficial; have a high opinion of.”

So, basically, values is having self-worth, treating and seeing yourself as someone important. And you are extremely important to God. So, always live your life to please Him. Treat your body like the temple it is.

Live like a virtuous woman (Proverbs 31) with self-respect and have high moral standards. If you don’t respect yourself, no one else will. Always remember who you represent as a child of God.

 

In conclusion, accepting and living by the dating rules will save you many stress-related and spiritual issues later on. Keep your sanity, virtues and heart intact. Play the dating game safely and there will be no regrets.

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Posted by in Relationships, Single & Blessed | 2 comments

Choosing Mr. Right: Don’t be Too Picky

Choosing Mr. Right: Don’t be Too Picky

 

One of your ultimate goals as a single woman is meeting and identifying Mr. Right. You may have to select from the frogs to meet your prince. However, make sure you are not putting Mr. Right on a pedestal in your mind before you meet him.

Why?

You could meet him and lose him because of your high standards.

Of course, you need to have standards. But they should be reasonable and not over the top.

Some of the unrealistic standards are…

  • He must be earning lots of money.
  • He must be tall and handsome.
  • He must drive an expensive car.
  • He must be working and have a good job.
  • He must be romantic and buy you flowers and chocolates.
  • He must wait on you and run around for you as you command.
  • He must own his own property

And the list goes on…

However, let’s be real. There is no perfect man out there. You’re not perfect either. On the other hand, I wouldn’t advise you to rush into a relationship and choose Mr. Right who turns out to be Mr. Wrong.

Use wisdom when making your decision about starting a relationship.

Pray about it when you meet him.

Look out for warning signs.

Watch the video below for first-hand tips from a young couple about meeting Mr. Right. They share their experiences and tell you what to look out for.

Meeting your soul mate is wonderful. It’s the first step towards marriage and your future together. That is why it’s important to get it right. Don’t be too picky and miss your chances when looking for Mr. Right.

If you feel you’ve met him, first, pray and speak to close family members and friends. They will give you useful advice, usually based on their experiences.

Look out for my next article, 3 Dating Rules Not to Break…

Over to you…

  • Have you met Mr. Right?
  • How did you know he was the one?
  • Why do you think it’s not a good idea to be too picky when looking for Mr. Right?

 

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Posted by in Relationships, Single & Blessed | 2 comments

Why you Shouldn’t Wait on God for a Man

Why you Shouldn’t Wait on God for a Man

You’re single. Do you think you should wait on God for a man? As far as I know (and it’s not in the Bible either) God didn’t promise to send a man to you or any other single woman.

It’s not God’s intention for  you to sit at home, single, waiting for months or even years.  He’s not going to miraculously send your husband knocking on your door.

So what are you supposed to do?

 

Don’t wait on God, step out in faith

Stop waiting on God for a man. God is waiting on you to step out in faith like Abraham did…

Abraham was the father of faith. When God told him to sacrifice his son, (Genesis 22:1-19), he didn’t sit at home worrying and crying about killing his only son. He stepped out in faith, believing that God would bring him back to life if he sacrificed him.

If you want to meet a man, you have to make yourself available. Go to places where single Christian men hang out. And that’s not necessarily in your church either. Meeting men there is not impossible, but it’s rare. Although, some single women meet their spouse at church. But, most churches are 60% women, 20% men and the rest are couples – from my observations.

 

If you meet a man, will you know if he’s the one for you?

Be careful you don’t miss your chance because you’re hooked on the idea of God sending you a man.

Imagine this, you meet a man, but you don’t think he’s the one God sent so you let him go.

Why?

Because you feel you will know the man when you meet him. So, you decide it’s not God’s will for you to be with him.

But how will you know by feelings alone? Being led by your emotions is not 100% accurate. 

Talk to God about it. Ask Him to confirm it. Discuss it with close friends, family, your pastor or anyone else who can guide you. God can speak to you through other people as well. He will tell or show you if you should develop a relationship with the man you met.

 

Is there a perfect man out there for you?

The only two people who came close to being perfect for each was Adam and Eve. That’s because God made them for each other.

Obviously, when you meet a man, use wisdom and prayer. Don’t, however, expect to meet a perfect man. He doesn’t exist. And if that’s what you’re looking for, your expectations will be sky-high. No man will be able to meet your expectations. Moreover, if they do, there will always be issues with him in your eyes.

There are no perfect couples or relationships. Everyone is imperfect. Remember, God must always be at the head of your relationship. In His perfection, He will keep your relationship strong, if you trust Him to do so. When challenges come, get on your knees and pray together. 

 

Don’t wait on God for a man, make yourself available by changing your mindset

Don’t be like some single women who walk around looking like their dog just died. Their faces hang down. They don’t smile. They’re miserable. They dress frumpy. They don’t care about their appearance. And they’re moody. 

If a man looks at them, they give him the evil eye. How are they going to get a man to show interest in them? Instead, they’re likely to scare him off. This information is what I’ve heard from single men.

 

waiting on God, single woman

 

Use the time as a single woman productively. Prepare yourself to meet your king. Change your mindset to receive a man into your life. If you’ve been single for a long time it’s probably difficult to adjust certain habits you’ve developed. Maybe you love having the bed to yourself. Hate it when men leave the toilet seat up. Don’t enjoy cooking for anyone. Can’t be bothered to make yourself look good. And so on…

But, embrace change. Smile more. Have fun days out with your girlfriends. Get your hair and nails done regularly. Dress nicely. Wear makeup. You don’t have to plaster it on. Use it to enhance your beautiful features.  Go sit in a nice restaurant and eat by yourself. Treat yourself to beautiful stuff. Doing this will develop your confidence. And when you meet him everything will fall into place.

 

When you’re out, be prepared

Don’t lose out on meeting him. One of my friends missed a few opportunities because she wasn’t prepared. She walked around in her own little world. A few men showed interest in her, but she didn’t see the signs and missed out.

So, go out everyday thinking, “I could meet him today.”

Always be prepared mentally and physically. Look approachable. He could sit next to you on the bus one morning, afternoon or evening.

I met my ex-husband one afternoon when I was going home for lunch. I had no idea that afternoon would change my life.

 

Do you know who you want to meet?

God isn’t going to tell you who to go out and meet. You have to decide that for yourself.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t pray and trust that God will connect you with the person you’re supposed to marry. Faith plays a big role here. However, faith without works is dead, (James 2:14-26). You have to play your part.

Make a list of the type of man you want to meet. Write down the qualities you desire and personality type. Don’t be too rigid, though. Allow some flexibility. If you meet someone and you get on well, don’t dismiss him because he didn’t tick all the boxes. Like I said before, no one is perfect. Although, it’s good to have an idea of who you’re looking for.

Furthermore, develop your knowledge about relationships. Read books and articles, speak to a relationship coach, get advice from couples who have long successful marriages.

 

Go to places where single Christian men hang out

Now you know who you want to meet. Go to the places where you could meet him. But, to just to let you know, single men are everywhere. They’re not confined to a certain location or building.

Here are some places you could go to meet a single man…

  • Attend social events, such as friends’ birthday celebrations. Mingle and get to know people there.
  • Weddings are another potential place to meet a single man.
  • Single Christian conferences or seminars.
  • Join a class or start a new hobby.
  • Doing God’s work, such as evangelising. You could meet him while you’re out and about.
  • Christian concerts.
  • Facebook – but be careful with this one. Make sure the person is who they say they are. Get to know them first. By the way, my daughter met her husband on there. 
  • Reputable Christian dating sites/agencies, especially if a friend recommends them to you.
  • Friends and family. Tell them you’re single and looking to meet someone.

Finally, instead of believing you have to sit and wait on God for a man, enjoy your life. Embrace happiness, joy and peace. It will radiate from the inside of you and attract the right people to you. Love others completely by accepting God’s love into your heart. When you meet your man, it will be second nature to love him, totally.

 

Over to you…

What’s your views about waiting on God for a man? If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your man?

Please do something for me… share this article on social media so other women can enjoy it too. Thanks for sharing.

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Posted by in Relationships, Single & Blessed | 0 comments

Amazing Tips for Single Women Waiting for Their Husband

Amazing Tips for Single Women Waiting for Their Husband

I had to share this awesome video by Tiffany Kameni. Every single Cristian woman waiting for her husband should watch it. 

This is what Tiffany said, “Why do you have to wait on GOD for your husband? Why do some women remain celibate for decades and are still not found by their GOD-ordained husbands? What should you do to position yourself to be found? Can you handle the truth?”

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Posted by in Encouragement, Single & Blessed | 0 comments

5 Wrong Reasons to Start a Relationship

5 Wrong Reasons to Start a Relationship

There are lots of reasons why you may well want to start a relationship. Nevertheless, sometimes you let your heart guide you in the wrong direction. So, you start one for the wrong reasons.

Let’s be honest. It’s appealing when you’re tired of living the single life. 

You want to feel loved. You want to feel wanted. You want loneliness to go away. You want to fit in with your friends. You want to have sex. You want to be wrapped in the arms of a man. You want people to stop pressuring you.

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Single Women: Do These 3 Things While You’re Waiting – Part Three

Single Women: Do These 3 Things While You’re Waiting – Part Three

I’m going to be real with you. The single lifestyle can be challenging at times. I should know. I’ve been single for nearly 10 years. Looking back, I wonder how I made it this far. But I did and I wouldn’t change it for anything. Do you know why? Because I have achieved a lot in that time. But I didn’t do it alone. God was by my side every step of the way.

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