Okay, let’s talk about dating rules. They’re there for a reason. You either abide by them or break them. Which will you choose?
You can break them, mess up and do something you’ll regret. Or agree with them and have fun dating.
Let’s start by looking at the dating rules with an open mind. When you’re dating, use wisdom. Pray. Pray. And pray some more. Why? So you don’t let your guard down. And also, go by the guidelines of the bible to help you not make the wrong choices or decisions.
- Don’t date randomly
Random dating is dating different men searching for the right one. You jump from one man to another just for the sake of dating. When you start dating, have the end goal in mind. The end goal should be going on dates with the intention of getting married. So, date a person who shares your beliefs and fits what you’re looking for in a husband.
This doesn’t mean you should only date one man. You might have to date more than one man. Unless you meet someone and know from the start he is the one you’re going to marry.
Just to let you know, there’s a difference between going on a date and dating. Going on a date is meeting up for dinner, coffee, a trip to the cinema, museum or somewhere else. Whereas, dating is a little more intimate. This is where you share personal information (not your life story) about yourself. You both discuss your desires for the future and get to know each other better.
However, it’s not advisable to go dating lots of different men while searching for your king. Dating usually lead to starting a serious relationship. And you don’t want to have lots of unnecessary relationships before you marry. For more about whether you’re ready for a relationship or not, read this article: Are you Ready for a Relationship?
- Don’t give up sex because he says I love you
Perhaps you’ve been single for a long time. Then you meet a man and start a relationship. He seems like the right fit for a husband. He tells you he’s deeply in love with you. As the weeks and months move along your feelings grow stronger. You believe you’re in love with him.
In due course, when you’re alone, the cuddles become intense. His hands roam all over your body. His kisses turn into more than a peck on the cheek. This is where fire can start in your relationship. He tells you how much he adores you. He might even claim that he’s 100% sure you’re meant to be his wife. Then he tries to entice you into bed.
On top of that, he puts demands on his request. “If you love me too, you would do it. At the end of the day, you’re my woman. That’s what couples in love do, isn’t it? And if we don’t try it out, how will we know if we’re sexually compatible after we get married? Or, why are you making me suffer?”
What will you do? Will you feel guilty about holding back or give in to his sexual demands? If you give in, you’re giving away a precious piece of you. On top of that, how do you know he’s going to stay with you after he’s tasted the honey? Maybe that’s all he wanted to satisfy his sexual cravings.
Anyway, if he truly loves you he will wait. If you’re prepared to wait, why can’t he? Save yourself for your honeymoon night. It will be worth the wait. Don’t be pressurised by his emotional blackmail to tempt you into bed.
I know it’s not easy. You’re created with sexual desires. However, you must do all you can, to control lust. (1 Corinthians 6:13). Or it will lead you down a slippery slope into sin. For the sake of your emotional stability, spiritual and physical health it’s worth saying NO.
- Don’t compromise your values
You shouldn’t measure your values against the standards of the world on your date. That’s why you must abide by dating rules or you’ll risk doing the same things your non-Christian girlfriends do. Also, remember, you’re meant to be the light in this dark world. (Matthew 5:14-16).
The world’s standards say you’re allowed to do this on your date night:
- Wear a short, low-cut, tight dress that clings to your curves. Strut in high heels to make him think you look sexy.
- It’s okay to take him back to your flat on the first date and have a long smooching session on your sofa. Depending on how you feel, perhaps you’ll let him have his way.
- Drink a lot of alcohol. There’s nothing wrong with letting your hair down.
- Let him fondle you because you like him. Brag about how he was all over you because he found you irresistible.
So, after that date night, how will you feel when you wake up the next morning? Will you feel good about yourself? What if he doesn’t call you again? You’ll probably regret what you allowed him to do.
However, the damage would have been done because you compromised your values. In addition, lowered your standards trying to please him. But, he will probably see you as easy like many of the others out there. Therefore, his respect for you would have taken a tumble.
Let’s look at the definition of values as a noun: “The regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.”
And values as a verb: “Consider (someone or something) to be important or beneficial; have a high opinion of.”
So, basically, values is having self-worth, treating and seeing yourself as someone important. And you are extremely important to God. So, always live your life to please Him. Treat your body like the temple it is.
Live like a virtuous woman (Proverbs 31) with self-respect and have high moral standards. If you don’t respect yourself, no one else will. Always remember who you represent as a child of God.
In conclusion, accepting and living by the dating rules will save you many stress-related and spiritual issues later on. Keep your sanity, virtues and heart intact. Play the dating game safely and there will be no regrets.Read More