One of the biggest challenges single Christians face is dealing with sexual lust and temptations. It’s even harder if you’ve been sexually active before. Once you’ve tasted it and enjoyed it, you’ll want more!
It’s natural to get sexual urges. God created us as sexual beings.
But when those feelings rise up, you can’t just jump into bed with any man. Unless that man is your husband, of course.
The bible has clear guidelines about sex.
“So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual immorality, impurity, lust, and evil desires.” ~ Colossians 3:5.
So, fornication is not on the agenda.Then what are you supposed to do to control those feelings that sweep over you from time to time?
Well there are a few things you can do. I hope you will find this list useful in helping you put your lustful desires under control.
#1 Don’t have unnecessary meaningless relationships. Loneliness can make you form relationships just for the sake of having someone in your life. It’s frustrating when you need a hug and don’t have anyone to hold you. Or maybe you need an encouraging word when you’re feeling low.
Loneliness can drive you to start dating, until you meet a man. You get to know each other. He likes you and you like him.
The only problem is that he’s not serious about commitment. He says he’s a Christian. Yet he doesn’t see anything wrong with having sex. He justifies it by telling you that it’s OK to try it out, to see if you’re compatible. You really like him and you’ve been without a man for a long time.
He knows how you feel. So, he tries his best to play on your vulnerability. If you’re not careful, you could give in. After all, you want to please him. And you don’t want to lose him. Even though you know that the relationship is going nowhere.
Is it worth giving up your treasure for a few moments of pleasure? Men like that will leave you after they’ve had their ration. They’ll move on to the next female victim.
#2 Remember that your body is a temple of the Holy spirit. Treat your body with respect. You’re meant to keep it pure. Don’t do anything with it that will make you feel guilty or disgusted afterwards. That usually happens when you have sex with someone you’re not supposed to. You wake up the next morning full of regrets.
When I get lustful thoughts, I try to remember that the Holy spirit lives in me. It’s a bit like knowing someone’s always watching you. That someone is God. If you’ve got the fear of God in you, that’s enough to help you overcome sexual lust.
Also, every time you have sex with someone, you’re forming a spiritual soul-tie with that person. It goes even deeper than that. When you have sex with a man, you’re also having sex with every one he’s had sex with as well.
#3 Make a covenant with God that you will keep your body pure. I can testify to this. It’s worked for me for many years now. As a single woman, it was hard to control lustful feelings because of my previous lifestyle. I had to make a conscious decision to surrender my sexual feelings to God.
I prayed and made a covenant with Him. That covenant was that I wouldn’t have sex again until I got married. I asked Him for grace so that I wouldn’t break it until I meet my life partner. God has been faithful. He has given me grace. And I’ve not broken the covenant.
#4 Don’t confuse lust with love. Lust and love are closely related. You could easily mistake one for the other.
As a Christian woman you’re not supposed to have sex until you’re married. So, if you’re not sure if it’s lust or love, you should wait anyway. If it’s lust and you don’t give in to temptation, the feelings will pass. And if it’s love, your love will grow stronger and over-ride your lustful desires.
God’s definition of love is in ’1 Corinthians 13: 4-8‘
#5 Try not to put yourself in situations where you’ll get tempted. It’s easy to get tempted if you’re in a relationship. It could start innocently.
You’re sitting close to each other, cuddling. He strokes you, then you kiss. The next thing passions starts to run high. Unless you’re strong, you could easily give in to temptation.
But if you find yourself in that compromising situation, leave the room. Or better still, go home. If he’s at your place, ask him to leave.
God will never put in a position where you’re not able to handle temptation. But you have to play your part, and resist temptation with every fibre of your being.
#6 Renew your mind and control your thoughts. Make a habit of renewing your mind every day. Focus on things that will build up your spirit. The best way to do that is to study the bible. That will produce pure thoughts.
Lustful thoughts begins in your mind. If you feed it with God’s word it will strengthen your spirit.
I read somewhere that you have 5 seconds to get an evil thought out of your mind. If you leave it, it will develop into something worse. So, if you keep thinking about sex and wanting it, you’ll eventually want to give in to that urge.
What you feed your mind with, is what it will produce. And that will also control your actions.
“If we walk in the spirit, we don’t fulfill the lust of the flesh.” Gal. 5:16
#7 Have an accountability partner. Do you have a friend or a pastor that you can confide in and trust? If you do, make them your accountability partner. When you feel the need to give in to temptation, call and speak to them.
Be honest about your thoughts or actions. When you find yourself struggling with porn or sexual urges, tell them.
Sin likes to stay hidden in dark places. Don’t keep it a secret, talk about it. That action alone can help to break the bondage.
I found the video below on YouTube. In it GodsGirlG talks about other things you can do to overcome sexual lust.
God loves us and wants the best for us. The rules He’s put in place is to protect us. Sexual issues have caused marital breakdowns, murders, HIV, aids, abortions not to mention the emotional and physical traumas some women suffered as a result.
However, when sex is kept within a marriage, it deepens love and forms a stronger bond between couples.
We have a God that is merciful. He does forgive our sins.
Jesus forgave a woman caught in the act of adultery. “Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, ‘Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you? No, Lord,’ she said. And Jesus said, ‘Neither do I. Go and sin no more.‘” ~ John 8:10 -11
But that doesn’t mean we should keep sinning and keep asking God for forgiveness. Repentance means saying sorry and not doing it again.
Have you struggled with lust? How did you overcome it? Please share your tips and advice with us.