“Strength and dignity are her clothing…” ~ Prov. 31:25 – Faith based articles for single Christian women

7 Valuable Tips to Defeat Sexual Lust

7 Valuable Tips to Defeat Sexual Lust

By on Jul 14, 2012 in Love and Sex | 25 comments

One of the biggest challenges single Christians face is dealing with sexual lust and temptations. It’s even harder if you’ve been sexually active before. Once you’ve tasted it and enjoyed it, you want more!

It’s natural to get sexual urges. God created us as sexual beings.

But when those feelings rise up, you can’t just jump into bed with any man. Unless that man is your husband, of course.

The bible has clear guidelines about sex.

So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual immorality, impurity, lust, and evil desires.” ~ Colossians 3:5.

So, fornication is not on the agenda.Then what are you supposed to do to control those feelings that sweep over you from time to time?

Well there are a few things you can do. I hope you will find this list useful in helping you put your lustful desires under control.

 

#1  Don’t have unnecessary meaningless relationships

Loneliness can make you form relationships just for the sake of having someone in your life. It’s frustrating when you need a hug and don’t have anyone to hold you. Or maybe you need an encouraging word when you’re feeling low.

Loneliness can drive you to start dating. You get to know each other. He likes you and you like him.

The only problem is he’s not serious about commitment. He says he’s a Christian. Yet he doesn’t see anything wrong with having sex. He justifies it by telling you it’s OK to try it out to see if you’re compatible. You really like him and you’ve been without sex for a long time.

He knows how you feel. So, he tries his best to play on your vulnerability. If you’re not careful, you could give in. After all, you want to please him.  And you don’t want to lose him. Even though you know the relationship is going nowhere.

Is it worth giving up your treasure for a few moments of pleasure? Men like that will leave you after they’ve had their ration. They’ll move on to the next female victim.

 

#2  Remember that your body is a temple of the Holy spirit

Treat your body with respect. You’re meant to keep it pure. Don’t do anything with it that will make you feel guilty or disgusted afterwards. That usually happens when you have sex with someone you’re not supposed to. You wake up the next morning full of regrets.

When I get lustful thoughts, I try to remember that the Holy spirit lives in me. It’s a bit like knowing someone’s always watching you. That someone is God. If you’ve got the fear of God in you, that’s enough to help you overcome sexual lust.

Also, every time you have sex with someone, you’re forming a spiritual soul-tie with that person. It goes even deeper than that. When you have sex with a man, you’re also having sex with every one he’s had sex with as well.

 

#3  Make a covenant with God that you will keep your body pure

I can testify to this. It’s worked for me for many years now. As a single woman, it was hard to control lustful feelings because of my previous lifestyle. I had to make a conscious decision to surrender my sexual feelings to God.

I prayed and made a covenant with Him. That covenant was that I wouldn’t have sex again until I got married. I asked Him for grace so that I wouldn’t break it until I meet my life partner. God has been faithful. He has given me grace. And I’ve not broken the covenant.

 

#4  Don’t confuse lust with love

Lust and love are closely related. You could easily mistake one for the other.

As a Christian woman you’re not supposed to have sex until you’re married. So, if you’re not sure if it’s lust or love, you should wait anyway. If it’s lust and you don’t give in to temptation, the feelings will pass. And if it’s love, your love will grow stronger and over-ride your lustful desires.

God’s definition of love is in ‘1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

 

#5  Try not to put yourself in situations where you’ll get tempted

It’s easy to get tempted if you’re in a relationship. It could start innocently.

You’re sitting close to each other, cuddling. He strokes you, then you kiss. The next thing passions starts to run high. Unless you’re strong, you could easily give in to temptation.

But if you find yourself in that compromising situation, leave the room. Or better still, go home. If he’s at your place, ask him to leave.

God will never put in a position where you’re not able to handle temptation. But you have to play your part, and resist temptation with every fibre of your being.

 

#6  Renew your mind and control your thoughts

Make a habit of renewing your mind every day. Focus on things that will build up your spirit. The best way to do that is to study the bible. That will produce pure thoughts.

Lustful thoughts begins in your mind. If you feed it with God’s word it will strengthen your spirit.

I read somewhere that you have 5 seconds to get an evil thought out of your mind. If you leave it, it will develop into something worse. So, if you keep thinking about sex and wanting it, you’ll eventually want to give in to that urge.

What you feed your mind with, is what it will produce. And that will also control your actions.

If we walk in the spirit, we don’t fulfill the lust of the flesh.” Gal. 5:16

 

#7  Have an accountability partner

Do you have a friend or a pastor that you can confide in and trust? If you do, make them your accountability partner. When you feel the need to give in to temptation, call and speak to them.

Be honest about your thoughts or actions. When you find yourself struggling with porn or sexual urges, tell them.

Sin likes to stay hidden in dark places. Don’t keep it a secret, talk about it. That action alone can help to break the bondage.

I found the video below on YouTube. In it GodsGirlG talks about other things you can do to overcome sexual lust.

God loves you. The rules He’s put in place is to protect us. Sexual issues have caused marital breakdowns, murders, HIV, aids, abortions not to mention the emotional and physical traumas some women suffered as a result.

However, when sex is kept within a marriage, it deepens love and forms a stronger bond between couples.

We have a God that is merciful. He does forgive our sins.

Jesus forgave a woman caught in the act of adultery.  “Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, ‘Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you? No, Lord,’ she said. And Jesus said, ‘Neither do I. Go and sin no more.‘” ~ John 8:10 -11

But that doesn’t mean we should keep sinning and keep asking God for forgiveness. Repentance means saying sorry and not doing it again.

Image FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Have you struggled with lust? How did you overcome it? Please share your tips and advice with us.

Subscribe to my RSS feed and get all the latest posts by email:

The following two tabs change content below.
I'm June, a self-published author, freelance copywriter and blogger. This blog is a mixture of real stories, testimonies and useful advice. Most of the articles here are based on biblical principles. If you have a testimony to share, I would love to publish it to inspire other readers.

    25 Comments

  1. I absolutely love this!! These are some great tips, many that I practice myself 🙂

    Congratulations and best of luck with the new page!! Does this mean that your old page (miraculous ladies) is now null and void?? Either way, I signed up to receive e-mail notifications for your new blog!! xo

    Jax

    • Thank you Jax. I really appreciate your support. No Miraculous Ladies still exist but I’m thinking of selling it to focus on this one. Thanks for signing up. 🙂

  2. These is great. I think that if those tips will be able to analyze by so many people, no one will be able to get pregnant at young age.
    TracyAnn0312 recently posted..tactical military gearMy Profile

    • Well TracyAnn, not everyone will agree with my tips. But yes, it would help to stop teenage pregnancy if women were to wait until they were married to have sex. 🙂

      • You were right. Other than that,we should also need to tell them the importance of virginity. Thanks for the reply Junie.
        TracyAnn0312 recently posted..בעיה בקשרMy Profile

        • Not many people think that being a virgin is important, which is a shame.

          • You are definitely right. We always seen many young people to have sex anywhere which is a shame to anyone who can see it.
            TracyAnn0312 recently posted..natural treatment for adhdMy Profile

  3. I need a Christian true friend who’s willing to talk to me..thanks a lot

    Jasmin

    • Hello Jasmin, thanks for getting in touch. If you ever need to talk please fill in the contact form on the homepage with whatever you need to talk about, and I will send you an email. Do you live in the UK?

      Have a blessed evening. 🙂

  4. I am a young boy of 25. I seriously recommend this article by June Whittle because I encountered a thing of this nature before I gave my life to God. I was once a masturbator for about 12 yrs. I had a girlfriend who frequently leads me to sex after which I broke up with her. But, now I desired to marry without pre-marital sex but the question is how will I get my soul mate from God? The person that will not be interested in my money but love and is God fearing.

    • First of all thank you for recommending this article. I’m so happy you left a comment. It helps me because now I know there are people out there who had a problem with controlling lust.

      God bless you for taking a bold step and deciding not to have sex again before marriage. It’s tough but the Holy Spirit will help you. I made a covenant with God 9 years ago that I won’t have premarital sex either.

      Ask God to bring your soul mate to you. He bought Eve to Adam and He can do the same for you. Tell Him exactly the type of woman you want. Just trust Him, have faith and wait on Him. He’s done it for others and He can do it for you too. 🙂

      • Thanks alot, I pray for his grace in my life and in the life of every youth to fear and respect him so that His blessing will be immeasurable in our lives.

        • Hi Oguike,

          Amen. Thanks for leaving this short but powerful prayer for the youths. Fearing God is the first step to obeying His commandments. That has kept me on my toes because I don’t want to do anything to disobey God. I don’t always get it right. But I pray and ask God to help me every day. That is the only way we can please Him, and when we do His blessings will flow in our lives.

          I hope to see you again. Have a blessed week. 🙂

  5. Is being sexual in relationship really important?

    Alok Meena

    • I believe that in a marriage sexual intimacy is very important. Although it’s important, it shouldn’t be the main thing that keeps a couple together. Love and good communication should be the foundation of any relationship. A relationship can survive on love, even if for whatever reason, sex is not possible. However, if it’s purely based on sex, eventually that excitement will fizzle out. And the relationship might not move forward.

      Thanks for reading.

  6. I av read ur article and it help, but can one live without lusting at all.? second don’t you think that those married couples lust too???

    cruz

    • In answer to your question, yes one can live without giving in to sexual lust.

      We are created as sexual beings so it’s normal to have lustful feelings. But, the issue is can you control those feelings or not? When you give in to sexual lust and have sex with someone you’re not married to, you’re committing a sin. So, it’s best to exercise self-control in this area. It’s not easy but it’s possible. I’ve done it and that’s how I know it’s possible.

      Married couples have lustful feelings but they have their wives or husbands to satisfy that desire. Therefore, they are not doing anything wrong.

      I’m going to be writing a book about this subject in more detail. Please subscribe to my blog to find out when it’s published. It will be packed with lots of valuable information.

      Thanks for reading and leaving a comment.

  7. My fiancé and I have been together for five years. Yes we are sexually active.
    Should we be? I love him so dearly and I want to grow old with him but I wonder if the marriage in our hearts is equivalent to a formal wedding. Where is the line drawn? Do we have to be married by a priest or pastor to be free of the sin? What are your thoughts?

    Miranda

    • Hi Miranda.

      Thanks for reading and leaving a comment. You didn’t say if you are Christians or not. But if you are Christians, according to the bible you shouldn’t be sexually active before you get married. I can’t tell you what to do, just advise you what you should do.

      Marriage in your hearts is not the same as getting married formally or legally. You’re not officially married, so as far as society is concerned you’re both still single people, although engaged to each other. In order to be free of sin, if you get married then you are husband and wife and so having sex is not classed as sin. Usually, a priest or pastor (if they’re certified to conduct a wedding) can marry you.

      Ultimately, when couples get engaged it’s with a view to getting married. I hope you and your fiance think about that because when you meet someone and fall in love, it’s lovely when you get married and plan the rest of your lives together.

      I hope this helps.

      Have a good weekend.

  8. I’ll guarantee you, if Samson, David, and Solomon were here, they’d all say, “You can’t defeat your lust alone!”

    • With the help of God you can. I did it and many other people I know have done it too. Knowing who you are in Christ and understanding that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit helps. Temptations will come, but there is always a way out. The choice is yours.

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  9. This is so precious,thank you and keep providing us with information and be blessed.

    Florence

    • Thank you, Florence, for your kind words. I really appreciate it and it’s good to know you found value from this article. If there is anything you would like me to write about, please let me know. God bless you.

      Have a good weekend. 🙂

      • So good good, advice and teaching for that matter. A friend of mine whose husband was abroad and she was a devoted Christian found herself in a situation where she slowly engaged in brothers relationship through chatting, texts and once they could meet, hug happily. This lady continued getting heated up to a point of sexual attraction. The gent was married but fiñally they were tempted to the act. So thanks for giving touchable tips to avoid this mess

        Josphat Mulinge m

        • You’re welcome.

          Temptation sometimes starts off innocently, but unless we guard our emotions, it can lead us down the path of full blown lust, which then turns into sexual activities. Prevention is always the best thing. Because once we have sex with someone we’re not supposed to, we can’t undo it.

          Thank you so much for sharing this story. I hope it helps someone else who might find themselves in this position.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Should Single Christian Women Look Outside The Church For A Man? - [...] Most men will think you’re either old-fashioned or weird for wanting to hold out. How can he understand where…
  2. 5 Warning Signs Mr Right is Wrong For You | Arise Single Christian Mummies - […] you and want to take the relationship to the next level. He doesn’t see anything wrong with sex before marriage.…
  3. Self-Control is a fruit of the Spirit | Arise Single Christian Mummies - […] Self-Control […]
  4. Self-Control is the fruit of the Spirit | Thoughts In Writing - […] Self-Control […]
  5. Single Women: Do These 5 Things While You’re Waiting - Part One - Arise Single Christian Mummies | Arise Single Christian Mummies - […] can push you over the edge. Especially if you haven’t had sex for a while. Your new man hugs…

Post a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge