Is God deaf? Maybe you’ve been praying for something for a long time, but it seems God isn’t hearing you. You’ve fasted, prayed, friends have prayed, pastors have prayed and you even sent prayer requests as a last attempt.
Still, nothing happens. Silence.
So, you get down on your aching knees once again and call out, “God where are you? Can’t you hear me and all the other people praying for me?”
I know what it’s like to pray for years. I prayed for five years for something I thought I needed. Something I really wanted God to do for me. Something I was desperate to have. I really thought God was deaf. How can I pray for so many years and not get an answer?
Guess what? I did get an answer. But I didn’t know it because it wasn’t the answer I wanted. God wasn’t deaf. It’s just that my ears were closed. You know what it’s like…
Sometimes you pray, but it’s in an attempt to twist God’s arm. You want Him to give you or tell you what you want to have or hear. You don’t really want Him to give you what He thinks is best for you.
The next time you pray for something and don’t get an immediate answer, don’t be too quick to judge God.
Hannah’s husband had another wife. Nevertheless, he loved Hannah dearly. Unfortunately, she couldn’t have children. For years, the other woman mocked Hannah because of her barrenness. Hannah was sad, depressed and cried often. She even went without eating.
However, she didn’t give up on God. One day she cried out to God again from her heart. Hannah prayed a silent prayer. While praying she wept deeply. Not being able to get pregnant distressed her. As she cried, she prayed. She made a vow to God and left her request with Him.
She didn’t pray about the situation again. The next morning she went to worship God. Eventually (not immediately) God answered her prayer. She gave birth to Samuel. You can read the full story in 1 Samuel 1: 1-27.
What if Hannah thought God was deaf and had stopped praying? Perhaps Samuel would not have been born. What I like about Hannah is the way she prayed. She prayed from deep within her heart and left it with God. She believed God heard her. That’s praying in faith.
I have had many prayers answered. But they haven’t always been the way I expected God to answer them.
The debate about whether God is deaf or not continues. However, God does answer prayers in different ways.
Some of them are:
God answers your prayers in dreams
The prayer I prayed for five years was for God to reunite me with my fiancé who had to leave the country. Instead of his miraculous return, I had lots of dreams. In most of my dreams, I was crying. God was showing me he wasn’t the one for me. Nevertheless, because I wanted him so badly I ignored the signs.
However, years later I understood why God didn’t answer my prayer. He saved me from lots of heartaches.
Sometimes God use other people to give you a word concerning your situation
There have been many times when I’ve gone through challenges and cried out to God for answers. But, He’s didn’t answer. On the other hand, if He did, I didn’t hear Him. Perhaps it’s because my mind was too full of my problems and worries.
Anyway, I carried on talking to Him, as if I would to a trusted, close friend.
So, if you’ve not been hearing from God, don’t give up talking to Him. I’ll tell you why…
During those wilderness moments, I always get a phone call, a message or a prayer from someone. And guess what? They always have the answer to my prayers. What’s more, they usually contact me because God told them to get in touch. It’s a massive faith booster.
Be careful what you pray for
Sometimes God answers prayers immediately. Or so it seems. One day last year, I was feeling particularly lonely as a single woman and craved for love.
On my way to a barbecue, I asked God to connect me with a man. I told God I needed love in my life. That night I met a man at the barbecue party. We clicked instantly.
He called me a few days later and we met up. I like him and we got on great together. However, there was one problem. He wasn’t a Christian, although he used to be. Eventually, I realised he wanted what I wasn’t prepared to give. I wasn’t prepared to compromise my sexual values. So, I ended the friendship.
What were the lessons in that experience?
- Because you get what you want when you ask for it doesn’t mean it’s right for you.
- Always make sure the supposed answer is from God. He won’t give you anything to jeopardise your faith or cause distress.
- Don’t use prayers as a magic genie or you may get a wish that’s not good for you.
Is God deaf? No.
Keep praying and keep expecting to get answers to your prayers. He always answers. Sometimes it’s yes, other times it’s maybe and there are times He will say no. Make sure your ears are not closed and you will hear His answers. He knows what’s best for you because He sees the bigger picture. So, be patient as you wait for your answer. And remember… Unforgiveness will block your prayers. Make sure your heart is clean before you pray.
Over to you…
Have you been waiting for answers to your prayers? Or does God always answer your prayers? Please share your comments in the box below.
Okay, let’s talk about dating rules. They’re there for a reason. You either abide by them or break them. Which will you choose?
You can break them, mess up and do something you’ll regret. Or agree with them and have fun dating.
Let’s start by looking at the dating rules with an open mind. When you’re dating, use wisdom. Pray. Pray. And pray some more. Why? So you don’t let your guard down. And also, go by the guidelines of the bible to help you not make the wrong choices or decisions.
- Don’t date randomly
Random dating is dating different men searching for the right one. You jump from one man to another just for the sake of dating. When you start dating, have the end goal in mind. The end goal should be going on dates with the intention of getting married. So, date a person who shares your beliefs and fits what you’re looking for in a husband.
This doesn’t mean you should only date one man. You might have to date more than one man. Unless you meet someone and know from the start he is the one you’re going to marry.
Just to let you know, there’s a difference between going on a date and dating. Going on a date is meeting up for dinner, coffee, a trip to the cinema, museum or somewhere else. Whereas, dating is a little more intimate. This is where you share personal information (not your life story) about yourself. You both discuss your desires for the future and get to know each other better.
However, it’s not advisable to go dating lots of different men while searching for your king. Dating usually lead to starting a serious relationship. And you don’t want to have lots of unnecessary relationships before you marry. For more about whether you’re ready for a relationship or not, read this article: Are you Ready for a Relationship?
- Don’t give up sex because he says I love you
Perhaps you’ve been single for a long time. Then you meet a man and start a relationship. He seems like the right fit for a husband. He tells you he’s deeply in love with you. As the weeks and months move along your feelings grow stronger. You believe you’re in love with him.
In due course, when you’re alone, the cuddles become intense. His hands roam all over your body. His kisses turn into more than a peck on the cheek. This is where fire can start in your relationship. He tells you how much he adores you. He might even claim that he’s 100% sure you’re meant to be his wife. Then he tries to entice you into bed.
On top of that, he puts demands on his request. “If you love me too, you would do it. At the end of the day, you’re my woman. That’s what couples in love do, isn’t it? And if we don’t try it out, how will we know if we’re sexually compatible after we get married? Or, why are you making me suffer?”
What will you do? Will you feel guilty about holding back or give in to his sexual demands? If you give in, you’re giving away a precious piece of you. On top of that, how do you know he’s going to stay with you after he’s tasted the honey? Maybe that’s all he wanted to satisfy his sexual cravings.
Anyway, if he truly loves you he will wait. If you’re prepared to wait, why can’t he? Save yourself for your honeymoon night. It will be worth the wait. Don’t be pressurised by his emotional blackmail to tempt you into bed.
I know it’s not easy. You’re created with sexual desires. However, you must do all you can, to control lust. (1 Corinthians 6:13). Or it will lead you down a slippery slope into sin. For the sake of your emotional stability, spiritual and physical health it’s worth saying NO.
- Don’t compromise your values
You shouldn’t measure your values against the standards of the world on your date. That’s why you must abide by dating rules or you’ll risk doing the same things your non-Christian girlfriends do. Also, remember, you’re meant to be the light in this dark world. (Matthew 5:14-16).
The world’s standards say you’re allowed to do this on your date night:
- Wear a short, low-cut, tight dress that clings to your curves. Strut in high heels to make him think you look sexy.
- It’s okay to take him back to your flat on the first date and have a long smooching session on your sofa. Depending on how you feel, perhaps you’ll let him have his way.
- Drink a lot of alcohol. There’s nothing wrong with letting your hair down.
- Let him fondle you because you like him. Brag about how he was all over you because he found you irresistible.
So, after that date night, how will you feel when you wake up the next morning? Will you feel good about yourself? What if he doesn’t call you again? You’ll probably regret what you allowed him to do.
However, the damage would have been done because you compromised your values. In addition, lowered your standards trying to please him. But, he will probably see you as easy like many of the others out there. Therefore, his respect for you would have taken a tumble.
Let’s look at the definition of values as a noun: “The regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.”
And values as a verb: “Consider (someone or something) to be important or beneficial; have a high opinion of.”
So, basically, values is having self-worth, treating and seeing yourself as someone important. And you are extremely important to God. So, always live your life to please Him. Treat your body like the temple it is.
Live like a virtuous woman (Proverbs 31) with self-respect and have high moral standards. If you don’t respect yourself, no one else will. Always remember who you represent as a child of God.
In conclusion, accepting and living by the dating rules will save you many stress-related and spiritual issues later on. Keep your sanity, virtues and heart intact. Play the dating game safely and there will be no regrets.
One of your ultimate goals as a single woman is meeting and identifying Mr. Right. You may have to select from the frogs to meet your prince. However, make sure you are not putting Mr. Right on a pedestal in your mind before you meet him.
You could meet him and lose him because of your high standards.
Of course, you need to have standards. But they should be reasonable and not over the top.
Some of the unrealistic standards are…
- He must be earning lots of money.
- He must be tall and handsome.
- He must drive an expensive car.
- He must be working and have a good job.
- He must be romantic and buy you flowers and chocolates.
- He must wait on you and run around for you as you command.
- He must own his own property
And the list goes on…
However, let’s be real. There is no perfect man out there. You’re not perfect either. On the other hand, I wouldn’t advise you to rush into a relationship and choose Mr. Right who turns out to be Mr. Wrong.
Use wisdom when making your decision about starting a relationship.
Pray about it when you meet him.
Look out for warning signs.
Watch the video below for first-hand tips from a young couple about meeting Mr. Right. They share their experiences and tell you what to look out for.
Meeting your soul mate is wonderful. It’s the first step towards marriage and your future together. That is why it’s important to get it right. Don’t be too picky and miss your chances when looking for Mr. Right.
If you feel you’ve met him, first, pray and speak to close family members and friends. They will give you useful advice, usually based on their experiences.
Look out for my next article, 3 Dating Rules Not to Break…
Over to you…
- Have you met Mr. Right?
- How did you know he was the one?
- Why do you think it’s not a good idea to be too picky when looking for Mr. Right?
You’re single. Do you think you should wait on God for a man? As far as I know (and it’s not in the Bible either) God didn’t promise to send a man to you or any other single woman.
It’s not God’s intention for you to sit at home, single, waiting for months or even years. He’s not going to miraculously send your husband knocking on your door.
So what are you supposed to do?
Don’t wait on God, step out in faith
Stop waiting on God for a man. God is waiting on you to step out in faith like Abraham did…
Abraham was the father of faith. When God told him to sacrifice his son, (Genesis 22:1-19), he didn’t sit at home worrying and crying about killing his only son. He stepped out in faith, believing that God would bring him back to life if he sacrificed him.
If you want to meet a man, you have to make yourself available. Go to places where single Christian men hang out. And that’s not necessarily in your church either. Meeting men there is not impossible, but it’s rare. Although, some single women meet their spouse at church. But, most churches are 60% women, 20% men and the rest are couples – from my observations.
If you meet a man, will you know if he’s the one for you?
Be careful you don’t miss your chance because you’re hooked on the idea of God sending you a man.
Imagine this, you meet a man, but you don’t think he’s the one God sent so you let him go.
Because you feel you will know the man when you meet him. So, you decide it’s not God’s will for you to be with him.
But how will you know by feelings alone? Being led by your emotions is not 100% accurate.
Talk to God about it. Ask Him to confirm it. Discuss it with close friends, family, your pastor or anyone else who can guide you. God can speak to you through other people as well. He will tell or show you if you should develop a relationship with the man you met.
Is there a perfect man out there for you?
The only two people who came close to being perfect for each was Adam and Eve. That’s because God made them for each other.
Obviously, when you meet a man, use wisdom and prayer. Don’t, however, expect to meet a perfect man. He doesn’t exist. And if that’s what you’re looking for, your expectations will be sky-high. No man will be able to meet your expectations. Moreover, if they do, there will always be issues with him in your eyes.
There are no perfect couples or relationships. Everyone is imperfect. Remember, God must always be at the head of your relationship. In His perfection, He will keep your relationship strong, if you trust Him to do so. When challenges come, get on your knees and pray together.
Don’t wait on God for a man, make yourself available by changing your mindset
Don’t be like some single women who walk around looking like their dog just died. Their faces hang down. They don’t smile. They’re miserable. They dress frumpy. They don’t care about their appearance. And they’re moody.
If a man looks at them, they give him the evil eye. How are they going to get a man to show interest in them? Instead, they’re likely to scare him off. This information is what I’ve heard from single men.
Use the time as a single woman productively. Prepare yourself to meet your king. Change your mindset to receive a man into your life. If you’ve been single for a long time it’s probably difficult to adjust certain habits you’ve developed. Maybe you love having the bed to yourself. Hate it when men leave the toilet seat up. Don’t enjoy cooking for anyone. Can’t be bothered to make yourself look good. And so on…
But, embrace change. Smile more. Have fun days out with your girlfriends. Get your hair and nails done regularly. Dress nicely. Wear makeup. You don’t have to plaster it on. Use it to enhance your beautiful features. Go sit in a nice restaurant and eat by yourself. Treat yourself to beautiful stuff. Doing this will develop your confidence. And when you meet him everything will fall into place.
When you’re out, be prepared
Don’t lose out on meeting him. One of my friends missed a few opportunities because she wasn’t prepared. She walked around in her own little world. A few men showed interest in her, but she didn’t see the signs and missed out.
So, go out everyday thinking, “I could meet him today.”
Always be prepared mentally and physically. Look approachable. He could sit next to you on the bus one morning, afternoon or evening.
I met my ex-husband one afternoon when I was going home for lunch. I had no idea that afternoon would change my life.
Do you know who you want to meet?
God isn’t going to tell you who to go out and meet. You have to decide that for yourself.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t pray and trust that God will connect you with the person you’re supposed to marry. Faith plays a big role here. However, faith without works is dead, (James 2:14-26). You have to play your part.
Make a list of the type of man you want to meet. Write down the qualities you desire and personality type. Don’t be too rigid, though. Allow some flexibility. If you meet someone and you get on well, don’t dismiss him because he didn’t tick all the boxes. Like I said before, no one is perfect. Although, it’s good to have an idea of who you’re looking for.
Furthermore, develop your knowledge about relationships. Read books and articles, speak to a relationship coach, get advice from couples who have long successful marriages.
Go to places where single Christian men hang out
Now you know who you want to meet. Go to the places where you could meet him. But, to just to let you know, single men are everywhere. They’re not confined to a certain location or building.
Here are some places you could go to meet a single man…
- Attend social events, such as friends’ birthday celebrations. Mingle and get to know people there.
- Weddings are another potential place to meet a single man.
- Single Christian conferences or seminars.
- Join a class or start a new hobby.
- Doing God’s work, such as evangelising. You could meet him while you’re out and about.
- Christian concerts.
- Facebook – but be careful with this one. Make sure the person is who they say they are. Get to know them first. By the way, my daughter met her husband on there.
- Reputable Christian dating sites/agencies, especially if a friend recommends them to you.
- Friends and family. Tell them you’re single and looking to meet someone.
Finally, instead of believing you have to sit and wait on God for a man, enjoy your life. Embrace happiness, joy and peace. It will radiate from the inside of you and attract the right people to you. Love others completely by accepting God’s love into your heart. When you meet your man, it will be second nature to love him, totally.
Over to you…
What’s your views about waiting on God for a man? If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your man?
Please do something for me… share this article on social media so other women can enjoy it too. Thanks for sharing.
I had to share this awesome video by Tiffany Kameni. Every single Cristian woman waiting for her husband should watch it.
This is what Tiffany said, “Why do you have to wait on GOD for your husband? Why do some women remain celibate for decades and are still not found by their GOD-ordained husbands? What should you do to position yourself to be found? Can you handle the truth?”
Growing in godliness is a strong statement. Do you know what it means? According to Linda Odolofin, it’s to grow in faith, live righteously and follow the footsteps of Jesus, among other things.
She sums it up by saying,”Growing in godliness is growing and increasing in the things of God. It’s all about growth, and there are many ways to grow in the things of God, like acting in love, not only speaking in love…”
There are lots of reasons why you may well want to start a relationship. Nevertheless, sometimes you let your heart guide you in the wrong direction. So, you start one for the wrong reasons.
Let’s be honest. It’s appealing when you’re tired of living the single life.
You want to feel loved. You want to feel wanted. You want loneliness to go away. You want to fit in with your friends. You want to have sex. You want to be wrapped in the arms of a man. You want people to stop pressuring you.
I’m going to be real with you. The single lifestyle can be challenging at times. I should know. I’ve been single for nearly 10 years. Looking back, I wonder how I made it this far. But I did and I wouldn’t change it for anything. Do you know why? Because I have achieved a lot in that time. But I didn’t do it alone. God was by my side every step of the way.